Death hurts. It is so difficult to say good bye. You may feel as though you have been struck by a tidal wave, cut loose from your moorings. You may be drowning in the sea of your private sorrow. No one can tell you how to grieve. There is no normal time span during which healing takes place.
Some may vehemently protest that the death has occurred; others may quietly resign themselves to the reality. Some may refuse to think about the death at all; others may think of nothing else. Some may cry hysterically; others may remain outwardly impassive and emotionless. Some may even blame themselves for the death; others may project the guilt upon God, the physician, the nurse, the clergy, a friend, or even another member of the family.
The grief process is never the same for any two people. Don't compare yourself with others in similar situations. Their smiles may not reveal the depth of their sorrow.
Be your own timekeeper. Heal in your own way and in your own time.